


Staging

by cosmicaddress



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: It was a tumblr request, Jeremy is oblivious, M/M, and then continue to yell at jeremy, boyf riends - Freeform, but he has more reason to be mad, go me, i feel so bad for my boy michael in this but i had to, i promise you'll be fine in the end though, just acknowledge that, lowkey kinda michael's fault too, so i had to make it good, this might tear your heart out and make it swell all in 7k words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 03:11:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14967872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicaddress/pseuds/cosmicaddress
Summary: "Why can't you forgive me?"Jeremy had a hard time coping after Christine dumped him.  Hanging out with Michael helped, and Jeremy simply let his friend know how much he appreciated his company.  At least, that was what it felt like to him.The staging of it all, however, looked different to Michael.





	Staging

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello hello everyone! i finally have a new work!
> 
> also quick thing before i get into this, i'm actually going to the off broadway bmc production and i am hella hype y'all
> 
> anyways
> 
> this is a tumblr request for the-angry-hufflepuff on tumblr, shout-out for giving me inspiration to write! i wrote maybe the first third of this over a period of a few weeks and then suddenly the rest of it typed itself yesterday and today. i had a lot of fun with this, so thank you!
> 
> the prompt came from a list, and i said to choose any ship, so this is boyf riends with "why can't you forgive me?"
> 
> i really hope you all enjoy this, especially you, the-angry-hufflepuff!

"Why can't you forgive me?" Jeremy's voice cracked as he finally choked out the words. The silence had been suffocating.

Michael did nothing but stare at him for a few moments, then turned and walked away.

Tears slid down Jeremy's face. How had things gotten to this point?

 

Jeremy could barely type out the message, tears blurring his vision, but he managed to send it before completely breaking down. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He didn't even want to think about it. 

That lasted for all of ten seconds before it flew to the front of his mind yet again. That terrible, terrible conversation that took place merely an hour ago at his and Christine's favorite shop at the mall.

He and Christine had broken up, her saying something about how she still needed to find herself and that they couldn't be together anymore.

Was that the truth? He couldn't tell, but it still hurt. That was why she wouldn't get with him at Jake's Halloween party, but she had figured it out, hadn't she? That was what she had said when she decided to go out with him. Maybe she had felt pressured to say yes after everything that had happened, or because of all of the friends that they had made, but it had felt like she meant it. He didn't really know what had changed between them so suddenly after their relationship of a few months, what could have changed.

Jeremy could tell that that wasn't the truth. Obviously, Christine realized that he was really just a loser, and no weird sci-fi crisis was going to change that. He didn't even know why he allowed himself to pine after Christine in the first place, he didn't deserve her.

He didn't deserve her, he didn't deserve anyone else he had befriended after the Squip, either, really. He wasn't even sure that he deserved Michael. Just because the Squip had gone a bit crazy in its plans didn't mean that it wasn't right about Jeremy.

That everything about him really was terrible.

That he really did make other people want to die.

Was Jeremy allowed to be included in that denomination?

Another round of tears flushed out of his eyes at the exact moment Michael came bursting through his bedroom door. Jeremy couldn't even look at his best friend, instead choosing to burrow himself underneath his covers.

"Jere?" Michael's voice was gentle and quiet, a sudden shift from what Jeremy was remembering at that moment. "Jere, can you tell me what's wrong?"

Jeremy's crying wavered for a moment and so he took the opportunity to breathe deeply and face Michael. His friend had taken it upon himself to sit on Jeremy's bed, his arm already instinctively reaching to grab his shoulder in comfort. Michael's eyes were clouded with worry. Not without reason, Jeremy hadn't had a freak-out that looked like this since his last memory of the Squip two months ago. This time was different, however. At least, there was something new mixed in.

"Christine, she..." Jeremy trailed off, having to choke back another sob. He didn't want to be some crybaby in front of the only person who had stuck by his side his whole life. He already felt like that friendship was out of place for someone in his shoes. "She broke up with me!"

"Oh, Jere," Michael's voice was filled with despair, but then he shifted his weight so that he could pull Jeremy into a tight hug. Jeremy let himself be held, and, after a few moments, moved into it. "I'm so sorry, dude, I know she means a lot to you. Um, did she say why or anything?"

"She said she still needed to find herself," Jeremy replied bitterly, incredulously scoffing at the look on Michael's face and turning away. "No, we both know that's not true, she's already retired that excuse. I'm just a loser and she finally caught onto that."

"Hey, hey, hey," Michael shifted so that he was looking directly into Jeremy's eyes with a surprisingly heartbroken expression. Why did Michael even care so much for Jeremy, anyway? "You are not a loser, okay? Christine made a dumb mistake. You are the best person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. And, as the headphones kid, that might not seem like it means much, but it's true. You're quite literally the light of my life, the support to my tank, the boyf to my riend—"

Jeremy had cracked a smile. He told himself in that moment that the Squip was wrong, it had to be, because Michael was there for him. Michael was weird, that much was true, but he was right there alongside Jeremy. 

He wasn't going to get over Christine today, or tomorrow, hell, maybe not for a long time. But today, he was going to ignore that. Today, he was going to play video games with his best friend, and eat junk food, and possibly get stoned.

Freaking out was still his okay, Jeremy realized, so he would just have to roll with it. Michael seemed to doing just fine anyway.

 

Jeremy was most definitely not doing just fine. The loud noise seemed to penetrate his skull and crash into his brain, only adding to the distress in his lungs from his nerves. How could he ever have thought this was going to be okay, that he could do this, that he could even be here—"Jere?"

Suddenly Michael was there, waving his hands in front of Jeremy, but Jeremy felt Michael's arm on his before seeing him. He couldn't be more relieved that his friend was there to ground him amidst all the chaos of the cafeteria. Still, his vision narrowed to a single table with two empty seats and ones that were occupied by a group that included Christine. "Jere, it'll be fine, okay? Just sit with me and you don't even have to talk to anyone, they know you have bad days sometimes, this won't seem any different. You don't even have to look at her, let alone talk to her. Just look at me, yeah?"

Jeremy took a deep breath as a small smile crept onto his face. He still wasn't ready to face Christine, but Michael was right. He just had to sit down and talk to his best friend the whole time to get through this lunch period. He had never been happier to not have Christine in any of his classes.

Jeremy glanced up at Michael and gratefully took the hand offered to him, consciously allowing himself to be drawn closer to the other boy. They slowly made their way across the room toward their regular table, Jeremy's body tensing up for a moment when Christine made eye contact but relaxing when Michael squeezed his hand. He was okay, he could do this.

And he did. Jeremy and Michael sat down in the unoccupied seats, Jeremy in the one farthest from Christine. Nobody said anything — he suspected that Jenna had some hand in informing their group, seeing as she had grown closer with Christine, but had had some consideration for privacy for once and told them not to mention it. 

Rich was regaling the group with some new book he had read called Munmun, and Jeremy could tell that he genuinely enjoyed it but was also filling the conversation for the Jeremy's sake. They shared a look and Jeremy nodded in appreciation. Rich had definitely been an asshole before, but he was glad to count him as a good friend now.

Michael brought up the latest Twitch stream he had watched as a way to hold a conversation with Jeremy nobody could butt into. Thankfully, they rooted for different people in the game's tournament and were able to successfully talk about only that stream until lunch was over. If Jeremy caught some bits and pieces about that book (the concept did actually sound interesting, people's physical size being proportional to their wealth), his friends did not attempt to draw him into the conversation. He could tell that they knew where he was at right now and cared enough to allow him to not socialize. Except for Michael, of course, but that was different.

The bell rang for fourth period, and a smile crept onto Jeremy's face as he looked over at his best friend. How Michael could make him feel so much better, he didn't know, but he was glad he could.

 

It was harder after school. Jeremy didn’t notice until Michael began pulling out that he was already beginning to yell at his friend to wait, because the back seat was empty. It felt like a stab in the gut to realize that, no, Michael doesn’t have to wait, the back seat should be empty.

Michael stopped the car and didn’t say anything, just gave him a sad look and plugged his phone in with the aux cord. His leg shifted up and down as he scrolled through what Jeremy presumed was Spotify, but stopped once he broke the silence.

“You want to pick?” Michael asked tentatively, trying to catch Jeremy’s eye. Jeremy stared at the pavement outside instead. “Alright, you know what, I made a sick playlist for you last night, I think it’ll help.”

Michael pressed play and completed his exit from the student parking lot as Hotel California began to play.

“You sure you made this for me?” Jeremy snorted at the song choice. He was pretty sure that this was more Michael’s taste than his own. He did like this song, though.

“Come on, dude, I made this intro to classic rock for you,” Michael explained, shooting a grin over to Jeremy. He was tapping his left foot as he drove, and Jeremy could tell that he was already halfway to humming the lyrics instead of talking to him. “I’ve been trying to get you into this stuff for forever. It was a grueling ten minutes of going through my three hundred and eighty song playlist to restrain myself to one song per artist. I figured Hotel California would be a good way to bridge the gap.”

“Aw, you made this playlist just for me?” Jeremy teased. Once again, a grin slid onto his face at Michael’s reaction. He was so, so lucky to have a friend like Michael. He was also lucky to be able to tease him like this, because it sure was putting him in a good mood. Well, maybe not good, per se, but better. “Am I your favorite person, Mike?”

“‘Course you are, Jere, you always have been,” Was that a tinge of red on Michael’s cheeks? Probably just because of the heat — the PT Cruiser was a bit slow to get the air conditioning started, and Michael had given up trying to fix it. Luckily, he lived a short distance away from both school and Jeremy’s house, so Jeremy never had to suffer for long.

“Thanks, Mike,” Jeremy replied quietly, leaning back into his seat and closing his eyes as the song changed to, according to Michael, something called Rosanna. His friend did have a point, the music really was good. He had never appreciated the instrumental sections of songs so much before. He quickly opened up Spotify on his own phone in order to follow the playlist, which Michael had sent to him before they had even left school. He smiled when he saw that it was twenty eight songs long. It was impressive that his friend had concentrated on this to narrow down his music inventory just for Jeremy, even if it was only ten minutes. Michael didn’t have a long attention span.

Jeremy opened his eyes when they began entering Michael’s driveway and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“Weren’t you taking me home?” He asked, even more confused when Michael proceeded to turn his car off. 

“Nope, we’re playing video games,” Michael shushed Jeremy when he began to protest. “Don’t tell me you have homework, if you do, it’s just those review activities for finals next week, you can do them later. Right now, let’s just focus on Cheetos and my Xbox.”

Jeremy reluctantly followed his friend inside after a moment of hesitation. Michael was right, Jeremy thought, all he had were easy review activities since AP exams were over and the teachers didn’t care too much anymore. He could afford to relax for now. He felt like he needed it, too. No matter how much Michael cheered Jeremy up, the pain from the thought of Christine still lingered, and he needed a distraction.

So, for the second night in a row, Michael was right there alongside Jeremy playing video games. The Squip didn’t even factor into their evening, Jeremy noted, as he knew for sure that Michael would never leave him. That brought him more happiness than anything else could.

 

A few weeks later, finals were over, and summer had begun. Jeremy worked at the local movie theater (thankfully, you could only work concessions when you were eighteen, so he just had to bring food to people if they ordered it before the movie rather than actually talk to them), but his schedule was rather flexible. He never spent much on anything, really, he was more of a saver, so he didn’t try to work too many shifts and spent a lot of time with Michael.

As time passed, Jeremy tried to think less about Christine and more about enjoying himself. He wasn’t going to fall back into who he had been before the whole Squip incident because of the break-up. He couldn’t let himself. He was most definitely not over her, not in the slightest, however. He couldn’t help but think about her, remembering their dates and conversations, painfully recalling late-night texts and phone calls, holding each other during movies. He tried to distract himself, hanging out with Michael, sometimes Rich, or anybody from the group that wasn’t Christine. Many nights, Jeremy couldn’t fall asleep because of his thoughts.

Those nights were when he was most grateful for Michael. He knew that without his best friend, he would be spiraling into the early morning hours and be more exhausted than he already felt every day. Every time, though, Michael distracted Jeremy, and every time, he felt just a little bit lighter.

The silly part of it all was how Jeremy would be worried about his texts. He shouldn't be worrying, he knew that, he knew that Michael was his best friend and would embrace whatever weird things Jeremy decided to send. He also knew that, deep down, whispers were telling him that Michael would abandon him, that he had to think carefully about every message, that every word mattered in their friendship.

As their conversations progressed, however, Jeremy realized how ridiculous that idea was. Michael didn't care about whatever seemingly-cringy texts Jeremy sent — in fact, Michael was the one sending the most out-there texts out of the two of them, really, and he didn't care. 

_Or maybe_ , Jeremy mused hopefully, _he's just completely open to sharing himself with me._

That didn't really matter though, did it? They had been best friends for their whole lives, and nothing was changing. Jeremy didn't even know why he was pondering the nature of their relationship in the first place. So, instead, he chose to simply take comfort in their conversations on those nights where he couldn't sleep.

Along the way, at some point, Jeremy had realized that he was bi. That really kept him up all night. It didn't matter than Michael wore a pride patch on his hoodie (everywhere he went, regardless of the weather, mind you). It didn't matter that they had been best friends since kindergarten.

Wait, no, actually, that last one did matter. Jeremy didn't really know how to stomach the fact that he would have to drop this big revelation on someone he had known for so long. Even if the voice in the back of his head told him otherwise, he couldn't help but imagine Michael dropping their friendship, or avoiding him. He couldn't even tell his dad.

He didn't know if he could handle losing another parent.

That was why he started with people who couldn't react to it with that kind of force. Obviously, no one he actually knew, but internet friends. All he did was put in in his profile. Surprisingly, nobody cared — well, they did, but in more of a celebratory way. Jeremy was in on the memes now. Countless people who didn't even follow him reached out and offered their stories. Countless meaning maybe seven, but, to Jeremy, it was unexpected and incredible.

This gave him a boost of confidence to come out to Michael. Instead of texting this to him, he called. They had taken to calling each other about more serious topics both before and after this specific conversation. Plus, Jeremy knew that he would type it over and over and never hit send. He had to just get it out.

So he did. He called Michael, and he let it all out.

Michael didn't wait a second before showering Jeremy with support, and, strangely, excitement.

He was so accepting that Jeremy felt the knot in his stomach loosen just a bit. Every night, the knot loosened more.

It was on one such night that Jeremy decided that he needed to up his game. Was he just going to be some loser who gets dumped and can't even go back to being a normal loser with his best friend? Hell no! He and Michael were going to have the best summer of their lives, crushing disappointment from a longtime crush of his aside.

jeremyheere: you know what, i'm done letting christine influence so much of my life

michaelmell: good for you dude, good for you. but what exactly are you talking about

jeremyheere: well i was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out and catch a movie with me

michaelmell: yeah i'd love that jere

michaelmell: :)

 

So, one Friday night in June, Michael swung by Jeremy's with his PT Cruiser and drove them both to the local movie theater. They had had to wait for a night when Jeremy wasn't working, which sucked, because Jeremy hadn't actually been out of his house in days. His most recent slump prevented him from seeing anyone besides his dad, Michael included, so he was eager by the time Michael knocked on his front door.

"One second!" Jeremy yelled, his voice cracking. He didn't mind that, though — he was more worried about his outfit. Somehow his usual cardigan didn't cut it. He thought that maybe it was just screaming pre-dumping Jeremy, and that was why it was getting on his nerves. He shrugged it off and slipped on a newer one Brooke had pointed out to him a few weeks before the end of the school year.

A single week before Christine had dumped him, Jeremy remembered. He shoved his thumbs into the thumb-holes upon which he insisted, and wiped the tear from his eye. He was not going to ruin this by fixating on his ex, he was going to focus on Michael and how everything felt better with him.

He was so happy to have such a good best friend.

"Mike!" Jeremy exclaimed happily upon opening the door. He squinted at the flowers in Michael's hands. "Hey, I know that I've been in a slump, thanks for, y'know, dealing with me, and bringing these to make me feel better. You're the best."

"Uh, you're welcome, Jere," Michael hesitated, a confused look passing over his face before he shook his head and smiled. "You ready?"

"Yeah, let me just put these in some water," Jeremy called over his shoulder as he headed towards the kitchen. "Go ahead and get in the car, I don't want to be late."

Jeremy quickly grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water, placing the flowers inside and putting them on the table. They didn't have any vases, so it would have to do. He didn't really care, though — the sight of the petals were enough for him to feel better, but the sentiment Michael brought along with them would be much more long-lasting.

As Jeremy sat down in the passenger seat, he looked over at Michael, and thanked the stars that he had Michael in his life.

On the way, they sang along to Michael's classic rock playlist, with which Jeremy had familiarized himself over the past few weeks so that he would know the lyrics. Michael seemed a bit surprised at first, but they settled into a nice, relaxing drive, belting out the lyrics when Bohemian Rhapsody came on.

Michael really got into singing Can't Help Falling In Love, which didn't exactly bother Jeremy. Somehow, even though he had just gone through a breakup with Christine, hearing Michael serenade him with Elvis made him feel better.

When they pulled up to the movie theater, Michael went around and opened the door for Jeremy. It seemed a bit strange to him.

"Come on, Mike, I'm not a girl," Jeremy snorted, clapping his hand on Michael's shoulder as they walked. Michael's cheeks were tinged with pink, but he didn't notice. "Oh, by the way, I got us free tickets, employee benefits and all."

As a result, they walked straight into the building and through the line easily, one of Jeremy's coworkers nodding them towards the direction of the theater they would be in. His eyes immediately travelled to the concessions stand.

"Alright, Jere, what do you want?" Michael asked, a grin gracing his features. "I'll order for both of us."

"Um, maybe just a small popcorn, water, and some Kazoozles?" Jeremy replied gratefully, thankful that his friend was so accommodating of his dislike of ordering food. He knew that Michael didn't do much better with people, but at least he could get the words out and not actually care about inconsequential mistakes.

Michael walked up and ordered Jeremy's food, as well his some extra popcorn for himself. As they waited, Michael shoved his hand in his hoodie's pockets, rocking back and forth slightly. Jeremy assumed that he must have been a bit impatient.

"That'll be ten dollars and forty-two cents," The cashier stated, smiling at the two of them. She waved at Jeremy — it was Katie, he realized, they had worked shifts together before. He must have been really focused on Michael to not have noticed before. He waved back before reaching for his pockets.

"No, Jere, I got it," Michael offered when he saw Jeremy getting his money together, pushing his wallet back into his pocket. "You got the tickets, you gotta let me pay for something."

"Oh, uh, okay," Jeremy bumped his arm against Michael's in appreciation. "Thanks."

"Of course, my favorite person," Michael teased, bumping his arm back before handing the money over to Katie. Jeremy glanced back at him before seeking out the theater number on their tickets.

"Enjoy your night," Katie called out as they walked to their theater.

They sank into their seats just as the previews began — Michael's favorite part, Jeremy remembered. His friend often leaned over and commented on various parts, but quieted down once the actual movie started. At that point, Michael smiled warmly at Jeremy.

After the movie, Michael picked up all of the trash and helped Jeremy out of his seat. He probably thought Jeremy had looked super relaxed into the leather seats, Jeremy decided.

Just as they began their trek back, Michael grabbed Jeremy's hand. Jeremy was startled for a moment before relaxing into it. Michael seemed content, and Jeremy was as well.

Michael was such a good friend.

 

Throughout the summer, Jeremy noticed his friendship with Michael getting to be better than ever. He supposed that that was a sign of its strength — the fact that Michael was willing to stick with him after the break-up.

Truthfully, he had hardly thought of it these past few weeks. Ever since that first movie, he had been hanging out with his friends a lot more. Michael was especially prominent in his life, though, and seemed to take him out a lot. Sometimes it was to the movies, and other times they just went out for a bite to eat. There was a small ice cream shop they had grown to love over the past few weeks, and that was where they were now.

It was karaoke night (it was every night in the ice cream shop), but they didn't really pay attention — it would take a really good reason for either of them to ever get on that stage, and they didn't even need to discuss that.

It was a nice ambience, though. Especially since the person singing happened to not be horrid like usual. The woman's soft voice floated into their ears, and Michael only smiled when Jeremy insisted upon paying. He bumped his arm against Jeremy's as they waited.

After a few minutes, their ice cream was ready and paid for, and they sat down at their regular booth — close enough to clearly hear the karaoke, but not close enough to have it drown out their conversation. Jeremy was just dipping into his chocolate cone when Michael cleared his throat.

"Hey, Jere?" Michael seemed a bit nervous, and Jeremy nodded him on. "I just wanted to say that I've really enjoyed hanging out with you this summer."

"Um, me too?" Jeremy replied in a slightly confused tone. Why was Michael telling him this? Didn't he already know that that was a cornerstone of the fact that they were friends? Michael's face fell, however, and Jeremy was quick to correct his response. "No, of course, dude, you know you're my player one. You aren't such a bad distraction from Christine."

Michael's cheeks were tinged pink again. Jeremy didn't really know what had his friend so flustered by his comments this summer. He was just letting him know how much he liked his friend, right?

 

Apparently that was not the case. It all started the week school started back up.

Jeremy and Christine had two out of their four first semester classes together. It wasn't super weird anymore — in fact, they had been completely fine at the end of summer get-together their friend group had.

Jeremy remembered it well. Michael had given him a ride there — they both now knew the entirety of the classic rock playlist (well, Michael already had at the beginning of summer, but it had still become their thing) — and they stuck together throughout most of the party.

It was at Chloe's house, naturally, as Jake never really threw parties anymore, and she was the next person after him to throw killer parties. This was more of a smaller gathering, though, just the eight of them.

That didn't detract from Chloe's plans, however, as she had enough alcohol to feed an army (also known as her parents' liquor cabinet that she had known how to pick the lock of for years). She and Brooke were the only ones drinking, really, but they all let loose.

During a game of Twister, Jeremy and Michael had gotten pretty tangled up, and everyone simply laughed, even Christine. She was actually one of the ones to make a teasing remark, strangely much to Michael's chagrin. Still, that was when Jeremy knew that they were okay.

It was in second period one day that Jeremy realized that he wanted them to be more than okay.

He thought about it more until lunch, when he pulled Michael aside, nerves flying around his stomach at the thought of his idea. He brought Michael toward the courtyard — it didn't matter that he was sort of friends with Jenna now, he didn't want her overhearing him.

"Michael, I need to tell you something important," Jeremy started, wringing his hands together. He couldn't believe how much he was fretting over his new decision, and desperately needed approval from Michael. 

"Okay, Jere," Michael smiled at him, the pink returning to his face. "What is it?"

"I think I'm going to try to get back with Christine," Jeremy declared, a grin on his face.

It slipped after the beat of silence between them.

"Jeremy," Michael said, no, _growled_. Jeremy suddenly felt sick to his stomach — that pink was looking an awful lot like red now. "I'm sorry, but are you fucking kidding me?"

Jeremy's eyes went wide at his friend's anger. Okay, the breakup had been bad, he would give Michael that, but shouldn't he be being supportive right now?

"Um, Mike, what?" Jeremy sputtered. Michael's expression didn't waver. "What are you talking about?"

"What were you doing this summer, huh?" Michael scoffed, his eyes not meeting Jeremy's. "You seemed like you were pretty over her, in fact, you came out as bi, and practically flirted with me continuously."

Jeremy's mouth hung wide open. Is that what Michael thought? That he was flirting with him? A memory suddenly flitted to the front of his mind.

That text — _well i was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out and catch a movie with me._ He had used the words "go out".

"Remember that day in the ice cream shop?" Michael continued, a hint of sadness in his voice. "I was going to ask you out, you know, because this whole summer felt a whole lot like dates. I didn't, because I chickened out, but I thought you implied that I was distracting you from her as more than a friend. The way you talked to me, and let me hold your hand, and just everything was definitely not the way someone who isn't interested should act."

Jeremy furrowed his brows. He didn't know exactly what Michael meant — wasn't he just being grateful for his friend's company?

"Shit, Jeremy, you told me you were bi!" Michael's voice cracked, and he sighed. After a glance at the sidewalk, he looked right back at Jeremy. "I thought that was your invitation of 'hey, I'm actually not straight, Michael, you now actually have a chance after years of pining'. I guess it's my fault for thinking that, but the way you were acting was still leading me on, even if you didn't realize it."

"Sorry, Michael, but it's not my fault if I was your gay awakening and you weren't mine for being bi, get over yourself," Jeremy retorted with anger in his voice at Michael's accusations. That quickly faded when Michael's face somehow fell even more. _Holy shit, what did I just say?_ "Oh my god, Mike, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that..."

"No, Jeremy, I think you did," Michael replied, his voice small. He turned and walked away, calling over his shoulder as he opened the door. "I guess I see where you stand on this. I don't want to see you."

The door slammed shut along with Jeremy's friendship with Michael.

 

" _You now actually have a chance after years of pining._ "

Jeremy couldn't get it out of his head. Michael had avoided him for the past week, but that didn't make their fight any less fresh.

It gave him time to think back on every movie night, on every ice cream outing, on every _date_. He was beginning to remember things, comments that could have been suggestive to Michael, Michael offering to pay so often, how much Michael had _blushed_.

Michael had blushed, and Jeremy was still that oblivious. Michael had liked him for years, and he had unknowingly begun to seem to reciprocate.

At least his bus ride was eventful, in his mind, at least.

He had tried to talk to him again that morning. Jeremy had pulled Michael into an empty classroom before first period and tried to apologize, but Michael wasn't having it.

"Why can't you forgive me?" Jeremy's voice cracked as he finally choked out the words. The silence had been suffocating.

Michael did nothing but stare at him for a few moments, then turned and walked away.

Jeremy let himself cry for a few minutes after that. A glance through the open door, however, stopped that train of thought. Not only could he easily be seen by those passing in the hallway, but he could see various couples and friends who weren't going through any drama and were simply happy with their lives.

That was when Jeremy thought, _fuck it_ , and texted Christine.

jeremyheere: do you want to maybe meet up at lunch in the courtyard, i need to talk to you?

christinecanigula: okay, jeremy, i'll be there

 

Jeremy shoved his hands into his pockets. His class was right next to the courtyard, so he had time to think before Christine got there.

He had to admit that he had no clue what to do about Michael. He wasn't just going to give up Christine, that was why he was going to give her a shot right now, but he couldn't give up Michael either. He couldn't lose him, no, Michael was the only reason he had been able to cope with life.

"Jeremy?" Christine's sweet voice trickled into Jeremy's ears and pulled him from his thoughts. He turned to face her. She looked curious, but not uncomfortable. That was a good sign. "What is it?"

"Well, I, uh, was wondering if you maybe wanted to get back together?" Jeremy spoke, his voice beginning to squeak a bit at the end of his question. It didn't exactly help when Christine frowned and sighed, giving Jeremy a look-over. She didn't exactly seem happy with what she saw.

"What happened between you and Michael this summer, and last week?" Christine asked bluntly. Jeremy raised his eyebrows in surprise at her line of questioning.

"Well, we went to the movies and for ice cream a lot," Jeremy answered before allowing his eyes to trail to the ground in shame. His friends had noticed the rift between him and Michael — hell, the latter hadn't even been showing up to lunch. "Then, uh, I told him that I wanted to get back together with you, and, um, he got mad, saying I was leading him on, and then I kinda snapped at him, and now he won't talk to me."

"Oh, Jeremy," Christine looked heartbroken. Jeremy suspected that it wasn't over their relationship, but over his and Michael's. "I think I might understand what's going on with you."

Jeremy motioned for her to continue. He didn't quite understand himself. He would take all the help and advice he could get.

"Well, you were always with him after we broke up, right?" Christine inquired, and Jeremy nodded. "Maybe you subconsciously drifted towards him?"

Jeremy didn't quite understand.

"Alright, I wanted you to realize this yourself, but do you want to know the real reason I broke up with you, and won't get back together with you now?" Christine was very blunt with this. What, she had lied to him when they broke up? Wasn't that just icing on the cake. "It's because you're in love with someone, but it's not me."

"Wait, what?" Jeremy responded in confusion. "What are you..."

_Oh._

All of a sudden it made sense.

Jeremy had been using Michael to cope after the breakup, but not just as a friend. That was what the flirting was, it was him realizing what he wanted. Semi-dates as a coping mechanism, and as the beginning of something.

"I didn't want to date you again, I just wanted to be in a relationship," Jeremy's eyes widened as he realized what was going on. "And I was...am in love with Michael."

"Then you better go get him," Christine smiled. "If this was all for nothing I'll be pissed, you weren't such a bad boyfriend."

"I hope Michael thinks that too," Jeremy laughed in response. He was glad that he and Christine had reached this point, when they could be friends again, and talk about relationships. Then his face fell again, and his jaw dropped in horror. "Holy shit, I'm in love with Michael, and I just screwed everything up."

 

It took a few weeks. Actually, Michael had gotten a lot better at avoiding Jeremy, so, really, it took a few months. Christine had been great about the whole thing, though, and the two of them had managed to rope the rest of the group into Operation Get Michael To Forgive Jeremy.

Secretly, it was also Operation Give Michael A Better Memory of Halloween to Jeremy as well, but nobody else needed to know that. Jeremy just needed to fix everything with Michael.

Jeremy had to admit, school, life, basically everything had been terrible without Michael at his side. It reminded him of the optic nerve blocking from the Squip, only now Michael was the one who didn't want to see him. It only made him feel like more shit, both for the Squip's influence and for Michael actually having a reason to not want to see him.

But that was going to change.

Michael had actually become fairly good friends with Brooke, and they apparently hung out often over the past two months. Jeremy suspected it could have started as a "treated like dirt by Jeremy Heere" club, but didn't say anything about it. That was completely valid.

She had already coaxed Michael into hanging out with her on Halloween night, and was going to suggest they take a drive. Hopefully, Michael would agree, and they would meet up with everyone else save Jeremy at the mall. Then, slowly, they would drive him towards the ice cream shop, and convince him to go inside, where Jeremy would be waiting.

That was where Jeremy sat now, a melancholy feeling overtaking him as he sank further into his and Michael's regular booth. This plan hinged entirely on Michael allowing himself to be subjected to peer pressure. Not really playing it safe, but this was the only way he could think of to get Michael to the ice cream shop, and that was crucial in his apology.

Jeremy was really nervous. He couldn't imagine what he would do if this wasn't enough. Michael deserved the world, the sun, the stars, everything, and Jeremy worried that he would think that this display was simply dirt.

That was why he barely felt prepared when Michael miraculously walked through the doors on time, an easygoing air about him. So, somehow he was able to go into this shop that carried so much weight for them from the summer. Jeremy was glad that Michael was able to do that — if this didn't work, he needed to be able to at least move on from this. When his eyes caught Jeremy's, however, his good mood diminished. He began to turn around, but their friends lightly pushed him back.

Jeremy met him halfway, placing his hand on Michael's arm.

"Please, just let me apologize," Jeremy pleaded, guiding Michael to their booth. Michael still looked pissed, but allowed himself to be seated. Jeremy sat down across from him. "I know that I was an asshole. You know what, I think you probably were my bi awakening, I just didn't immediately notice it. Christine broke up with me because she knew before I did. When I wanted to get back with her, I really wanted something else. I used you, and I'm sorry for that, but I think there was a reason I was flirting with you. Just...let me show you."

The conversation paused for a moment, and Michael stared into Jeremy's eyes. Jeremy couldn't even fathom what would happen if this was all for nothing, but it seemed to be that way.

"...alright," Michael's glare softened. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. This wasn't fixed yet, but Michael seemed interested in what Jeremy had to say. He was willing to listen. "This better be worth my time."

Jeremy took a deep breath and got up on the makeshift stage that the ice cream shop set up. He leaned over to the employee manning the karaoke machine, and picked up the microphone.

"This one's for you, Michael," Jeremy announced, butterflies going crazy in his stomach. "I mean every word of it."

And then he was singing Can't Help Falling In Love in a slightly crowded ice cream shop to his best friend and perhaps love of his life.

At first, Michael's face was unreadable. Jeremy hadn't really known how this would turn out, but he just tried to focus on his less than perfect singing voice. He did continue glancing at Michael though, and stared straight back into Michael's eyes during the last line. 

Michael wasn't giving much of a reaction.

When he approached Jeremy at the end of the song, however, Jeremy realized that he was. Michael was crying.

"Well?" Jeremy said when the silence persisted. "Um...where are we at?"

Michael waited a moment before grabbing Jeremy's hand.

"God, I love you, Jere," Michael's face broke out into a grin. "I think I can forgive you."

"I love you too, Mike," Jeremy smiled back, the butterflies leaving and being replaced by a warm feeling. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

"After everything you've done?" Michael replied, and Jeremy's stomach dropped. Hadn't Michael just forgiven him? "Of course. Part of it was kind of my fault for assuming things, and I'm sorry about that, but I couldn't stand even talking to you without knowing whether or not you meant any of it, or any of what you said that day at lunch. This was a good surprise, though. I can't believe you actually got on that stage and sang to me, I must really be your favorite person."

There it was — their old banter, plus their new relationship. The summer had involved a lot of unintentional staging, and tonight had been carefully planned, but now it was natural. Now, it would be real, and nothing would be so aimless between them ever again.

"Yeah, Mike," Jeremy leaned in, and kissed Michael, humming his words against Michael's lips. "You really are."

**Author's Note:**

> angst. fluff. fun. please let me know what you thought of this! i'm always open to requests, even if i accidentally take weeks.
> 
> who caught the dear evan hansen reference? high five if you did
> 
> also i do have a new crush and he actually made me that playlist. blame him if you wouldn't classify some of the songs mentioned as classic rock, i know nothing about music lmao. did i mention he actually made that playlist for me? my friend is convinced he likes me, when i asked him to describe me in three words, "cute" was one of them, but, i'm a coward, so we'll see
> 
> i will continue to headcanon rich as our resident book nerd to promote my favorite books fight me
> 
> i'm just gonna leave this at the fact that joe iconis said it was possible that after the musical, jeremy could end up with christine, no one, or even michael. here's to hoping that will roland and george salazar make that more obvious of a possibility.


End file.
